Magic 2013: Black, Red, Green, Misc

So LSV posted his blue review, and in the spirit of staying ahead (and thus MORE EXPERT!?) I am posting more of my reviews.

Hey why did you do this, like, at all?



Seemed like a good idea at the time. I can't promise I'll do it for Return to Ravinica but I kinda want to.


Also because I might be offline for a few days here's all the rest of them, read 'em or not, I don't care.

Black:
blood reckoning
meh. i like that nicol bolas text, but i reckon i won't play this. B-

bloodhunter bat
okay bleh whatever, but what is the flavor thing? this guy is like a vampire's pet that they send out to get food for them when they're too lazy? huh? C

bloodthrone vampire
sure okay, i don't know if this'll be all that good really but there's probably some fun limited pseudocombos that can use this as an engine. B

cower in fear
cool art. horrors of war a black theme too rarely touched upon. cool nicol bolas quote yo niv-mizzet vs. nicol bolas in RtR? make it happen! decent effect too i think, probably playable. B+

crippling blight
doesn't seem that great compared to like dead weight, tragic slip, but i dunno, could have it's place. i feel for that poor girl though she looks so sad in the art :( B

dark favor
okay the unholy strength counterpart i see. interesting way to show how power should be thought of as better than toughness. i approve. dude on art looks maaaad silly though. B

diabolic revelation
this is pretty hype but probably plain too expensive for tutoring. i'd like to be wrong though. crazy flavor too. A-

disciple of bolas
this could be pretty good i guess. i love more bolas flavor too, as i have stated repeatedly. i love the idea of some sort of internet-deprived kid thinking "who is this bolas guy" all the time and then pulling him and being like "woooooah". A-

disentomb
good way to keep helping solar flare by going backwards in complexity instead of forwards. always handy, worthy reprint. B+

duress
same again, handy thing, always good to keep B-opponent discards X around, it is always cool to read about why pros pick one or the other. B+

duskmantle prowler
aha, here we go with the black loner exalted. haste in black makes this "two abilities i wouldn't have thought i'd see in black in the core set". B

duty-bound dead
haha, i like it. skeleton defender warrior that will keep defending or attacking over and over no matter how they kill it. nice flavor. seems decent in limited, but i wouldn't feel duty bound to stick it in constructed, black has better turn-one plays. B+

essence drain
eh, okay. having to think of something to say for something this boring has left my essence drained. C

giant scorpion
creepy! pretty decent in limited! terrifying art! creepy flavor text! pretty boring though! B-

harbor bandit
another good entry in this cycle, seems halfway usable i guess although like either flying is gonna be good enough evasion, or you're playing somewhere where this won't be good enough evasion, y'know? neat flavor though, seems like there's a story there. B+

knight of infamy
i always like a bw knight minicycle. seriously WoW looking though... B+

liliana of the dark realms
neat that they such a ramp-focused card while making every ability still feel so black - tutoring, swamp-based pump (nightmare) or drain (tons of stuff), and rituals. i don't like the art at all. i hope this is good, because monoblack that isn't control is SO COOL. S-

liliana's shade
this seems overcosted. like, it sort of is just a much more limited version of liliana's first two abilities. i guess that's how commons are but eh whatever. shades are always neat. B-

mark of the vampire
why couldn't they go the full ten yards and have it give the creature vampire for the tribal support? probably because it wouldn't really give tribal support, vampires wouldn't run non-vampires that they'd then turn with a 4 mana enchantment into vampires for the tribal support. that'd be silly. but it couldn't hurt either, and it has some flavor value. ohh wellllll. C+

mind rot
SCREW YOU LILIANA I AM WRITING IT DOWN. this sees play sometimes, right? art is neat. B

murder
a whole lot has been said about the ramifications of printing this card, and the landmarkness of it, and all that stuff. i don't need to add much, just that i think it's funny that this is the game where adding a card called "murder" can be widely heralded as "a classy move". S

mutilate
goooo monoblack fatness goo! neat to see this. a much more interesting mass wipe for black than damnation, i think. A-

nefarox, overlord of grixis
woah, return to alara in a big way! i guess is black's entry into the cycle, why isn't it 2BB? if it was 2BB and 3/3 i think it'd be a lot better. but i guess that isn't flavorful than a giant shard-ruling demon. oh well, it could still be good, i guess. again, give me that monoblack fat crushers deck!! B+

phylactery lich
go monoblackfatness!!! this is cool. combos with itself nicely if you start spamming them at like turn three and can give quite the beating. cool new direction for lich mechanics. A

public execution
neat i guess but waaaay too expensive. i guess it's at least splashable. heyy what happened to that rah rah big and only black attitude? i really shouldn't have publicized it only to have it killed... B-

ravenous rats
haha okay fine i like it. i guess if it ate your diary it could rat you out, hahahahaha. B

rise from the grave
cool card to bring back, wotc <3 solar flare, big black dudes, all that fun stuff. cool flavor text. glad it rose from the dead. B+

servant of nefarox
she looks like a bit of a parisian bohemian, no? get it... french vanilla joke??? that silly demon gets a rebellious hot topic loner like this while nicol bolas, summon elder dragon legend, gets crazy augurs and vampires and such, ahahahahha. B

shimian specter
this is pretty decent, that sort of effect might be worth paying for and a 2/2 flier can give a beating too. what is going on here though is that dude riding a big skull bat? A-

sign in blood
wasn't this just in inistrad? anyways good cross-colour power level demonstration with divination. man that art makes me cringe, though. why does both this and divination have painted fingernails? is it the same dude? B

tormented soul
i like this. cool flavor and i wouldn't be tormented if i ran it in limited either. B+

OKAY ERIK CAME HOME AND I TALKED TO HIM FOR AWHILE ABOUT THE TOURNAMENT, he had good stories but i think i'm okay that i didn't go because for sures if i was coming home now i would be major sick

vampire nighthawk
with this and the next card alone wizards can being vampires back into relevance,just these two key reprints from vampires' previous glory days, which is cool for me, because that's pretty close to the big demon-centered monoblack decks that i keep talking about. nighthawk is just sick any way you slice him. hey woah they didn't print remainder text on flying! A-

vampire nocturnus
this thing is hype as hell, what a crazy cool sorta lord. dang dang good too. does wotc think they can get away with printing crazy vampires because ravinica doesn't have any (wait, do they? now i don't remember)? S-

veilborn ghoul
this is pretty neat i guess but i mean realistically you'll probably want to be doing something more exciting than replaying a 4/1 on turn 5+, but i dunno. would it really be too good if it could block? do they really have to make it totally useless the turn you play it? B-

vile rebirth
reanimation for dummies at first glance but it can also hate on solar flare in a pinch. and it's pretty decent if you sac your 1-drop to something and then turn 2 you have a beefier army? and it can be a surprise blocker and stuff too via instant. B+

walking corpse
grisly bears. #LSVshouldHIREmeforthese. C

wit's end
pretty hype but this has to be overcosted. nicol bolas in art and flavor text cool, but i think i'd be at my wit's end before i'm playing something like this. B-

xathrid gorgon
ooh what is xathrid??? i am hype alone for that development. the card itself is very cool too, if a bit overcosted and silly. i guess the body alone is pretty decent with deathtouch though. hard to judge 6-drops when you have titans here now but leaving soon. A-

zombie goliath
i'll give you one guess to what sort of dessert-oriented bean tree that zombie is grabbing, and it isn't chocolate. groooooss flavor text yo. C-

Red:
arms dealer
goblin tribe in general... goblin saccing specifically... funny flavor... dealing lots of damage... might even be playable! this is a real winner, folks! A

bladetusk boar
where's this guy racing around in? vanilla lake from "le" super mario kart? DO YOU GET THIS JOKE? it is VERY DIFFERENT from previous jokes i have made. B-

canyon minotaur
i guess if green gets hills red gets canyons, eh? hah. #minotaur2012! C-

chandra, the firebrand
chandellisa rice is back, this'll probably see constructed play in some RDWs, obvious limited bomb, okay, okay. kinda one of the more boring walkers in general but they can't do anything too crazy with a ping-centered character. A

chandra's fury
if i only got an A on my planeswalker card i'd be furious too, haha. seriously though this seems like pretty decent upper end for RDW, great with copy effects, does well in mirrors. B+

cleaver riot
hilarious! crazy! are goblin decks supposed to play this so they can get a double dip on on-hit abilities of lackey etc? i doubt it but it's a thought. this'll be a riot in limited too. funny flavor text. A-

craterize
so i guess stone rain is op? that's probably true. i guess they want something to keep cavern of souls/ability lands in check without it being good enough to just pop up everywhere. cool flavor and art and everything though. B+

crimson muckwader
this is a pretty good one, i think. people need to remember how handy nice regeneration is now that wotc has started backing off on the "and it can't be regenerated" shtick. i don't know who's gonna wade through br to play this though... B+

dragon hatchling
i mainly don't like this cause i don't like wimpifying the dragon tribe, even if i think this fills a decent flavor niche. really good way to show off firebreathing for a mechanic but i'd be more excited if it was like just R cause then it'd seem semi-playable. B-

frevor
urabrask just seems to give you so much more for 2 more mana but i guess he's on his way out soon, plus getting this up turn three and throwing down that legendary goblin on turn 4 is pretty hype. B+

fire elemental
"the spirit of fire is the spirit of change"... well, now they've changed the flavor text!
(wait wait... it seems that was never the actual flavor text, it was just on the one they printed up in topdeck once to show off a proposed new frame back in like 1999. wow memory is a STRANGE and FICKLE beast.) anyways boring, bad, limited possible. C

firewing phoenix
simplest possible phoenix mechanic but it works. i especially like how they cost the revival ability differently from the casting ability, very flavorful. flavor text is a cool story too. solid. A-

flames of the firebrand
chandra, you will never be jaya, no matter how much you try to ape her witticisms. interesting that they specify you need at least one, i don't know why you'd ever play this and hit no one but they added like three words to avoid saying "up to three" and letting you do this. anyways this could be playable in a world without lightning bolt or even shock(?) B

furnace whelp
awwww another wimpy dragon c'mon wotc i want rare dragons with power/cmc of at least 5. vertical cycles in dragons seem weird, yo. flavor text is funny though. doesn't seem good but i could be wrong. B-

goblin arsonist
classic one-drop goblin in this modern age. great utility card. do you remember when you first realized it was a goblin with a hedron for a hat and not some tortoise-looking dude with a beak that didn't seem like a goblin at all? c'mon there was a thread on /r/magictcg about this, i know i am FAR from the only one. A-

goblin battle jester
this is a funny card and pretty cool to play with too. gives an interesting strategic choice now to play your burn before your attack. seems too expensive though? probably'd be a bit more playable at 3 cmc 1/1. B+

hamletback goliath
i always liked this guy. liked the flavor and liked the ability. it helps you create what i think is the most hype kind of army, one big dude surrounded by loads of other guys, plus here there's a benefit to playing lots of big guys, not just big guys or lots of guys. A

kindled fury
is this like when i found out that amazon's default warranty is only a year? i like the flavor text, good to see ajani speaking on red stuff, that's part of his roots yo. but real talk this card sucks, i think. maybe a decent combat trick you'd pick last in a draft? D+

krenko, mob boss
yo, GET HYPE. i love this guy, i really hope goblin decks want to see him. turn 1 guide, turn 2 krenko's command, turn 3 frevor, turn 4 krenko, turn 5 siege gang commander, that's:
1: 2 damage
2: 2 damage (4 total)
3: 4 damage (8 total)
4: 7 damage (15 total)
5: 22 damage (37 total)
then you can sac en-masse for crazy amounts beyond that. take THAT, deck that does nothing for five turns and has 40 life or something! and yeah i know goblins are actually much faster than this in constructed already. MY POINT IS THIS IS COOL. S-

krenko's command
you already know the man, now hear his word. seems fairly costed, pretty handy. B+

magmaquake
get hype for this year's crazy x burn spell. damages each planeswalker, eh? what if it was a FLYING planeswalker??? anyways that planeswalker burning thing could make it see play but what red wants to burn with often takes to the air anyways so i dunno how useful this'll really be in most matchups. but the crazy flavor and nicol bolas quote are appreciated. B+

mark of mutiny
i like this, i like that the opponent gets a bit of benefit through the +1/+1 counter persisting, that feels very red. always handy in limited but this mechanic isn't really constructed fare. B

mindclaw shaman
viashinos are back? and they occupy the "midrange red spellcaster" slot? hype hype. 5 is a bit much probably but the effect is cool as all hell and fun too. A-

mogg flunkies
another decent goblin, cool. doesn't seem so good in this new era of creature power. probably wouldn't run it actually. actually not really even a decent goblin in this day and era actually... combos nicely with hamletback goliath i guess. C+

reckless brute
is this better or worse than the previous card? which would i choose in a draft? would it ever matter that much?? if you don't challenge yourself with these sorts of tests these cards are just way too boring. C+

reverberate
a card i always think is blue because of the effect, sort of. always sort of interesting that this is just fork with a pretty unnecessary complication added, are there many other cards like that? still doesn't feel like a rare, i dunno, it can be really devastating and bomby but i think you get better utility if you just double up on some early card draw etc for tempo instead of saving it for some crazy fireball shenanigans. i may be wrong though. B+

rummaging goblins
hilarious and interesting way to do red looting (without just annoying random discard). i kinda wish they would have made discard not part of the cost, though, i don't think it would have been broken to loot with an empty hand on a 3 mana looter? B+

searing spear
okay this is your lightning bolt this set, okay. flavor text is funny and also sort of summarizes the variety of places stuff gets bolted. a necessary card. B

slumbering dragon
i love love love this card. flavorful, possibly good but requires some thinking beforehand, exciting in limited without being autowin. S

smelt
probably better than
smelt U
creature - fish
sacrifice ~: gain 1 life.
1/1
haha. another necessary card. but doesn't the lack of evenness with erase seem weird??? is this supposed to reflect enchantments "dissipating" while artifacts "get trashed"? B+

thundermaw hellkite
NOW HERE WE GO. slumbering dragon was a step in the right direction but here's where the dragon vertical cycle gets AWESOME. this is the best dragon since like, sheesh, anything. bolas screwed red out of a mythic spot but this guy might be the most playable mythic in the set. thundermawvelous. wow i can't believe i said that. S+

torch fiend
was this really necessary with smelt? i guess maybe it was. isn't there one that's like this but you can sac it for free? i dunno. i'd maybe draft this but i wouldn't fiend for it. B-

trumpet blast
i hate to blast red boosting cards, especially ones that support big spammy armys, but this just doesn't seem worth it. the flavor text is cute though. B-

turn to slag
this just seems weird to me, and really bad. swords are rotating, you know? and there's no way you're doing well in tempo if your like turn ~5 plays are to maybe kill a creature and some equipment. at least koth has a quip (GET IT, A QUIP... EQUIP??? ugh...) D+

volcanic geyser
two XRR cards in the same set, eh? is it better to hit many things or be able to hit a player? i dunno, but this is a cool card either way. B+

volcanic strength
doesn't the flavor text sort of contradict the card? isn't mountainwalk kinda like getting the mountains to bend to you? i dunno. seems like a decent enough sideboard limited card for like, gr or something. B-

wall of fire
"Mercy is for those who keep their distance." heed this advice and don't play this card. C

wild guess
i like this, funny, pretty good, very red. good flavor text too. "it takes GUTS to be AMAZING" etc. B+

worldfire
ahahahahahhahahahahahaha, this like, wow. very cool card. very cool to think about. cool that there's like a new sorcery that people are gonna choose for decks that cheat in sorceries... do those exist? i feel like if this is ever playable, it'll be broken. but that's a big if. exciting, though, eh? A-


Green:
acidic slime
always handy to be able to "give them le dic". dunno if cavern of souls demands an answer as much as wolfrun in its prime or inkmoth, and certainly not valakut, but this is still handy. A-

arbor elf
hey hey, you know why this is in instead of llanowar elves? cause rtr will have shocklands!!! yay. B+

bond beetle
i like this a lot. am i right in thinking you can put the counter on the beetle itself? or do i have my timings wrong? ha ha john and paul could've used one of these around abbey road, eh? harhar. A-

boundless realms
atomic bomb of ramp, costed at the point where you've already ramped to hell and back. oh well, hype as all hell, might be neat to see it in some combo deck, at the very least it thins your deck out like crazy even if you don't get the chance to untap. A-

bountiful harvest
those fruit look tasty, but that is basically the only positive thing i can say about this. C-

centaur courser
green, making everyone else's vanilla creatures look like crap since 1993. 'course you'd never run this in constructed, 'courser you'd be okay plunking it in during a draft. B

deadly recluse
giant spider RIP. this is more exciting though actually. giant spider was a bit more body and cost than you really needed from that role, this'll survive early game encounters which it actually shows up for and then actually trade with something big later. excite. B+

duskdale wurm
green, making everyone else's french vanilla creatures look like crap since 1993. 'course you'd never run this in constructed, 'courser you'd be okay plunking it in during a draft. B

elderscale wurm
this is a pretty hype mythic wurm, yes indeed. sevens everywhere, i love "one number everywhere" cards. can't speak on constructed but i'd be very excited to pull this in limited. A

elvish archdruid
woah here come da elves. i don't know if this'll have the tribal support it needs but i don't know if it really needs more than arbor elf to be a legitimate threat. this guy is what makes elf ramp the most exciting sort of ramp imo, it's like, army ramp. A

elvish visionary
aha, here is the elf support. handy. you can make the mana cost back with two archdruids, so you're getting like a 3/3 for free. without that sort of support though this isn't really a tempo beater. B+

farseek
shock lands, guys!!!! this is cool though, an exciting way to do green multicolour, albeit not as hype as ol' BoP. B+

flinthoof boar
green, making everyone else's creatures in this cycle look sorta overcosted since 2013. 'course you'd never run this in constructed, 'courser you'd be okay plunking it in during a draft. i keep copying that joke even though it doesn't make sense now. B

fog
i can't see how i could possibly say anything clever about fog. making other colours' fogs look like crap etc etc. B+

fungal sprouting
i like this sort of thing, power matters + generate a crazy army. nice and splashable in gw or gr, or even gb to fuel some sort of sac army. creepy art. i feel like i'm drifting between focusing on flavor and focusing on playability. oh well. B+

garruk, primal hunter
this is maybe my favorite garruk. pretty solid, card draw in green is hype, ult is crazy. it seems cohesive despite doing essentially three things that don't really build on each other, i don't get how that works. S-

garruk's packleader
aw, garruk has like a yeti friend. cute. i like green card like this, this combos like crazy with garruk's ult. but that's winmore defined. limited this could be crazy in a deck that's already crazy. but overall i like it, even if it doesn't have a play spot. oh wait just realized it says 3 or greater, not greater than 3. this... could be playable? B+

ground seal
F U SNAPCASTER seems to be a big theme these days. fair enough. i dunno if this is the answer but as i alluded to earlier, i think the idea isn't to actually worry about printing a definitive answer as that's just as likely to suddenly enable something even more broken but to create the possibility of answers so players can have some fun experimenting and have the popular decks fluctuate a bit if not outright disappear. is this really a rare though? B

mwonvuli beast tracker
i like this guy. cool concept. i don't know if it'll see play but i'll certainly keep track of it. B+

naturalize
erase, smelt and naturalize, the trifecta. and murder and unsummon i guess for the set. nice flavor text, nice art, that's naturalize. B+

plummet
and then we have the sixth wheel to that pentafecta. which actually makes the car easier to drive? this is a boring okay card, i remember it for leading to one of the most intense arguments i have ever had with george (which i won btw). B

predatory rampage
overrun variant that is a bit more hype, cool way for green to do a board wipe sort of thing. B+

prey upon
fight as an evergreen keyword still sorta makes me cringe but this is a cool way for green to do creature control. B+

primal huntbeast
i already made a "green has good creatures" thing for vanilla creatures, fine. i don't get why the flavor text is about it moving really fast, is the idea that it's hexproof because it runs too fast to be targeted? that uhh... hmm. B

primordial hydra
i love this thing, i'm glad it's back. great way to make a really hydra-ey hydra that can be played early and still matters later. A+

quirion dryad
this is cool, very cool way to push green multicolour. quote from molimo, that guy is cool! i foresee crazy green multicolour ramp in rtr. this could be a pretty decent card too. A

rancor
hoooly cow, rancor, rancor, eh? RANCOR! HAHAHA. HAAAAAAHAHAHA. yes. YES. LIVE, STOMPY, LIIIIIVE. S+

ranger's past
this might be too high on the curve for ramp to be wanting to do stuff that doesn't give them mana now. if it was instant i could see some usage. as is i don't think this is a path to victory. B+

revive
solid card, i like this mechanic in green, that art is really nostalgic to me, glad they revived it. B+

roaring primadox
i like this because if you're in limited this is a decent body with a manageable drawback and if you're casual constructed you can have fun using the "drawback" as a plus. it only stops being cool in competitive constructed, and uh basically everything stops being cool there. love the flavor too. A-

sentinel spider
yeah this and the other spider cover giant spider's legacy pretty well. this thing will preform really well in limited. in constructed? i wouldn't stand around waiting for it. B+

serpent's gift
this seems way overcosted compared to deadly allure. seems like a shitty gift compared to the fruit of the knowledge of life and death. D+

silklash spider
another spider? this is like, hurricane spider. if you can ramp up to it quickly early-game flying aggression has never been so thoroughly dealt with. why does the flavor text need to be so goddamn creepy?!?!? A-

spiked baloth
this isn't much compared to our previous baloth, kind of a cruel parody of it. i like the flavor text though uh not much else to say. i swear i saw a trampling green creature that was strictly better than this earlier in the set, possibly several of them. C

thragtusk
this is the real baloth successor. i like everything about this card, the flavor, the powerlevel, even the name. this is the sort of stompy card that makes me love green. A

timberpack wolf
this sort of rat mechanic just isn't that hype in a colour with elves. i guess at the least you get some bears which is never awful or anything. B

titanic growth
growth is growth. i'm more curious about the flavor text now just describing the art literally. weird. B

vastwood gorger
yo real talk 40 stomaches doesn't even really make sense, does it? that isn't how eating a lot works i think. i dunno. bleh. if this is the best thing you can do at 6 in a green deck you are making poor choices. C-

yeva, nature's herald
final of these legendary creature leader guys. this one is pretty crazy. green suddenly gets all sorts of crazy combat tricks and pseudocontrol if you can flash in your crew, at the absolute very least you get a 4/4 for 2GG. it'd need to work for creatures of any colour before this would be in real demand for splashing etc. A

yeva's forcemage
handy trick, good synergy with yeva, seems like it should give trample too or something, or would that be too good? i like it though. B+


Other:
nicol bolas, planeswalker
after all the hype i gave to his slighest mention, what do i think of the dragon himself? well uh... he's an 8 mana 3-colour spell that isn't likely to win you the game for a couple turns... but STILL SO HYPE! i always thought his ult could be crazier though. i hope we see a new card of him soon. S-

akroma's memorial
i never liked this all too much. wins you the game in rampy stompy decks which i like but i think you probably should have already won any game you cast it in. maybe not though. did this see play before? anyways it is hype, that's undeniable. A-

chronomaton
i like this, it seems pretty good. flavor text is creepy as hell, as is art. fun card to keep you on pace tempo-wise in some decks, i imagine. A-

clock of omens
hmmmm.... will this work? i don't know. gilded lotus is in this set, i feel like there's something there maybe. but 4 is pretty steep for a combo piece sorta thing. B

door to nothingness
i can't believe they played this, this is such a crazy card. i like the flavor text and art. for the card itself, well... it is what it is. B+

elixir of immortality
eh... well, one mana artifacts that do basically anything may have a niche in some crappyish limited pools but... eh. don't drink the kool aid. C+

gem of becoming
bolas's gem isn't the myojin of night's reach's mask? that guy whose flavor article i read must have misspeculated. WOW THAT IS THE NERDIEST THING I'VE EVER SAID. this is a cool sort of ramp, doesn't seem that good though. B

gilded lotus
neat to bring this back. i'm happy they didn't think this should get mythic, i'm sure they considered it. i don't know if this is ever great to play but it's certainly pretty cool. A-

jayemdae tome
yay it's a tome, i wonder how detailed that book is in the high-res original art. B

kitesail
this seems a little too expensive to ever be worth it. i dunno i guess some colours are that desperate to get something in the air. B-

phyrexian hulk
ain't so incredible... decent body for limited though i guess. C

primal clay
i love this card, for real. it isn't too terrible for limited and it's really cool. is it like, bartending, though, in the art? huh? B+

ring of evos isle
ring cycle, people kept expecting a legendary ring at rare or mythic to finish it off. this is probably one of the better ones because blue usually appreciates such a bump more than other colours. B

ring of kalonia
most of these are boring though... and like, green has a million ways to do these things before, it doesn't really want to bother with this sort of thing. C+

ring of thune
same as with green. art is pretty amazing though. B-

ring of valkas
this one has the potential for some more crazy plays, though, your creatures basically have "you may pay an extra 1 to give it haste" now as soon as turn two. cool. makes the second ability sort of irrelevant with all the passing around though. B+

ring of xathrid
this could be interesting but i am more interested in what is xathrid again. good support for loner black, though. B

sands of delirium
getting mill cards in rare would make me delirious too. C-

staff of nin
this is a weird card to think about the cost of but i think this is basically "right". i can see playing this sometimes but i'm not exactly sure when. rtr will probably be kind to it, though. B

stuffy doll
i love stuffy doll. such a fun way to do burn. it'd be cool if this was more cheap and saw more play but it would walk a thin line of breakability. still cool re: flavor, design, everything. A

tormod's crypt
snapcaster's crypt! haha. actually i dunno, is this better than grafdiggers or nihil? i guess we'll see. zero mana artifacts are also just fun for synergy with like everything too. B+

trading post
oh man, i love this. a complex one-card engine that is flavorful and fun and exciting to. what's not to love? goat tokens? more like g.o.a.t. tokens. can't wait to see where this ends up. S

cathedral of war
exalted on a land, very cool. i could see this being popular. A

dragonskull summit
okay it's the core set duals, move over for shocklands in rtr. these aren't horrible though i guess. i mean it's a dual you use it when you play these colours, and br gets some love. A

drowned catacomb
same deal, i don't know if ub is a thing but whatever. A

evolving wilds
seems like this is always gonna be in standard... twice. i'm okay with that. anything that facilitates multicolour is pretty cool, especially if it operates with a choice. A-

glacial fortress
uw is the deck to beat at the moment, i feel like we'll still see a lot of it after m13. so these are money money money, hooray. A

hellion crucible
this is so cool, i want it to be good, i feel like something like this could be cool if done in the right way... but this is just sorta too bad. oh well. B

reliquary tower
eh whatever. i think this is mostly here to teach people about maximum hand size. B

rootbound crag
wolfrun has ran by and rg doesn't seem especially rootbound. still... A

sunpetal grove
gw is my favorite and i think big big flower land is a cool idea. so yeah. A+ because screw you.

plains
w is pretty good man i think most white players should consider this, especially because you can put as many as you want in your deck. ***

island
this is like the best card ever made, it has been like a 4 of or more in so so many broken ass decks. what is wotc thiiiiinking?!? ****

swamp
good synergy with liliana. i guess i could look at the art of the basics instead of trying to make jokes. but uh they all look fantastic, i don't really know what i could say there. ***

mountain
good luck tapping these, i heard they bend to no one. ***

forest
this is the last card, goodnight. ***


Okay that's finally done what else have you been up to?


Lately I have been thinking about the following things:


-Can you express all riddles in the form of "When is a not a?" "When a is not a." I got this idea when I was thinking about a central riddle in Finnegans Wake, "When is a man not a man?" "When he is a sham."
But yeah like think about an easy riddle like "What runs around a field all day but never tires?" which of course leads the person asked to try to imagine some sort of animal of infinite stamina and a mysterious agency, but there is no such beast, so in their mind the question is "What animal is none of the animals you know?" or "When is an animal not an animal?", an unanswerable question. Of course, the answer is "A fence", punning on the dual meaning of "runs". So it is "when it is not an animal."

Like on the Simpsons: "Bart, what do you have in there, some sort of walking clock?"

I wrote a lot more about this at one point but I don't think it made any sense. I don't think this likely makes any sense either, but I'm tired and oh well. It is a fun game to come up with riddles and analyze exactly what the person being asked is looking to find, trying to simplify it down to a form like this.

-How well Embodiment of Scarlet Devil works as a sort of rough analogy of your life. Okay, bear with me on this one.
First boss is Rumia, who uses darkness and is regarded as pretty ignorant. This is the darkness of the womb.
Second boss is Cirno, who is the innocence of youth. Obviously.
Third boss is Meiling, the gatekeeper, who represents entering society.
Fourth boss is Patchouli, who represents knowledge (duh), and growing experience and wisdom.
Fifth boss is Sakuya, who represents time and the inevitability of death
Sixth boss is Remilia, who represents the death itself
And then Flandre is the chaos of the afterlife?

Sheesh I dunno, basically it seems like if you think of the "lessons" of each of the bosses the sort of fall into the order that one would actually experience them? But I guess if you think of anything loosely enough you can cram it into human development.

-How similar Touhou and My Little Pony are. This seems really obvious in retrospect but this hadn't occurred to me at all until recently and the horrific revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. Now you get to carry that weight! I came up with a pretty rudimentary list of similarities but I think anyone could do the same so I encourage you to do so, so the condemnation is personal. I think a core one is just how similar the musical side of the fanon seems to operate. I know this because I was looking at a new ITG chart by Windeu and I saw it was a pony chart, and on the source vid (the song itself is pretty catchy, admittedly, I didn't even know it was ponies, in my defense) there was a million remixes and such linked, and promos for compilation albums, and I was like, hmm, where have I seen this pattern before?

So really what's important is the differences, and again, you can come up with a ton of pretty superficial ones easily but what I want to find is the fundamental ones that make Touhou so beloved to me and MLP so abhorrent. Honestly, I can't even say why MLP bothers me so much, which is scary, because I feel like someday I'll end up liking it. Okay, I'll vow now to never like that show. I remember at one point I said that about Lucky Star, though, so we'll see...

-I've been reading Proust a lot lately and wow, very impressive. I wish I could read it in the original French because this is some of the most beautiful prose I've laid eyes on and it troubles me that it's still "just" a translation. Did you know that Proust invented "irony quotes"? I'd go into this in more detail but I'm too tired at the moment. But yeah this is sort of the Hyouka of literature (I need to gargle saltwater for that blasphemy) just substitute amazing prose for godly animation. The difference is that the depths of humanity can be explored in great prose much more than in godly animation. But it isn't impossible for Hyouka to do that. In fact I think the only parts of Hyouka that are true masterpiece tier is when Oreki introspects a bit accompanied by some beautiful screen effects etc. Granted this is pretty shallow introspection compared with Marcel's queries into the nature of sleep or memory or class or whatever, but yeah, it's a start.

I'm really behind on anime at the moment, I hope to get caught up soon. Saimoe starts soon too.

I think that's it for now.