This is a really atypical song of the day
It's written over 100 years before almost everything else on the blog, for starters. I don't really know a whole lot about classical music, and I only listen to it in certain moods. Like now, in the busy season for school - or, rather, and even worse, the season that should be busy, and, because it isn't, necessitates that a following season become even busier. Augh! These frustrating times are when I turn to music that seems entirely innocent, entirely perfect, free of any implication in our current time... the work of someone so long ago to produce something so beautiful and our maintenance of it for all that time, how could such a thought not both free you from the burden of your tasks while also reducing their burden such that they seem entirely surmountable?
Plus, it's nostalgic, it feels full of myself, of my favorite parts of myself. I don't know a lot about classical music, but I like what I like, and I devote myself fully to these pieces. Often this comes from having performed them in choir. The feeling of taking something that at first seems disjoint, arbitrary, impossible, and slowly working it into coherence, mastery, beauty, just through collective effort and passion... I think I wrote about this before, in a blog post a long time ago. I really miss being in choir, especially when we did a piece like this. There's always a key moment where the first thing really "clicks" for me, when learning it, the first thing that actually sounds good, lol. In the Faure Requiem, it came in this movement, around 2:00 in on the one I linked, and around 2:20 on the version done by Gardiner and the Monteverdi Choir, which is the one I listen to the most. All four parts are actually very simple at this point, so we were able to nail it just in a sight read. Afterwards there was a sort of stunned silence... it seemed unreal that we had just produced something like that. I remember my friend turning to me and saying something like "That part is really amazing" and I could only give one of those sort of quiet empty laughs, a laugh of disbelief.
The best part, though, is the rushup you get when you realize that, eventually, within four months, every section of the piece will carry this sort of weight, will sound this good, will be this satisfying to produce. It's such an assured feeling and it rushes into as soon as you realize it; I think it's one of the most wonderful feelings of "faith" I've ever felt. The complete product is actually beyond imagination, but you know it's there, under the horizon. This is the sort of attitude I want to have when I start writing my papers, lol. This is the sort of capability I want to remember that I have. The paper will come together! Have faith! And some day, when I'm less busy, and I have fewer things that stress me out, I'll be able to write a long piece that properly articulates my love for this whole piece. Every swell and shift is imprinted onto my heart. Have faith!