Liveblogging E3 2014: Nintendo Conference

Previously:
Sony Conference
EA Conference
Microsoft Conference

OKAY HERE WE GO

Are you ready for real video games?
Are you ready for fun times where pressing buttons in a skillful manner rewards you will new ability and expertise?
Are you ready for tight controls and intuitive challenges?
Are you ready for a feeling of 1:1 immersion between character and player?
Are you ready for ACTUAL VIDEO GAMES?

I saw spoilers about a new Star Fox game, silly Time leaked it, kinda wish I had been surprised by that but whatever.

OKAY 15 MINUTES LEFT.

I was watching "The Banned Series", which is a cool MTG series on ChannelFireball where they take one card at a time off the Legacy banlist and play decks with it against other Legacy decks. Super interesting. This week they did Balance and Skullclamp. The Skullclamp deck is so nuts lol I don't think I had realized how degenerate it would be. Apparently this is the last week, though :(. I wanted to see some P9 stuff, lol. I guess a lot of the P9 isn't actually that interesting to work with... like, you don't really "build around" Recall or whatever, you just stick it in any other deck and suddenly that deck is way better.

I was in a thread on /r9k/ about the idea of suicide as selfish... it was pretty interesting for awhile but now it's just people flinging insults around, lol.

I have no idea why I keep trying to argue on 4chan, it's so futile. Very very rarely will anyone admit any sort of wrongness when they can just leave the thread instead. Plus if someone ignores your post, like, what are you going to do? I'm gonna start count it as winning an argument if everyone ignores me despite me calling them all out lol. Typically in a thread like this I will disagree with everyone to some extent.

I guess the real question is why I still go to /r9k/ at all, or why I ever did... uhh, right now it's because I don't feel like arguing about Death Grips on /mu/ (I feel like I said everything I want to say about it on my review and everyone is just being really silly), I don't want E3 leaks on /v/, I don't want anime spoilers on /a/ (I'm behind on a few shows atm), /lit/ is super silly atm, and I already saw everything on /jp/... okay so the final question is "why do I go on 4chan at all"? Well, I've been there for almost a decade now (I think I started in late 2004)... Maybe in another decade I'll know the answer.

The guy in the Banned Series said something about his roommate turning down his music, and quoted the roommate as saying "turn down for what?", which like... I dunno, it surprised me to hear these elite Magic players reference that lol. But I guess it's a really popular song. Anyways I'm gonna keep listening to the Waka Flocka Flame remix. KUSH GOT ME FEELING LIKE ICE CREAM AND SODA. What a silly line.

6 minutes remaining... if I chose a medium-long song, by the time it was over, the show would have started. Wow. Or I could listen to the Turn Down for What remix three times... uhh, gonna do that.

I'm really excited for the tournament at 7, too... But I was talking to Toph last night and he said his plane was cancelled??? So uhh... I dunno, I didn't ask him many questions about it 'cause I figured he'd be pretty busy and stressed... I dunno what's going on. I hope he makes it. I heard Tafo was a substitute, I guess they have a little stable of substitutes.

3:30... aaaaaaaaa.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa AAAAAAAA A A AAAAAAAAAAAA

im so excited

I don't even own a Wii U lmao

and my 3DS is in China

but uhh those things will likely change in the future

I really want to play Mario Kart 8 even though it's the gimped miniturbo system. Mario Kart 7 was still pretty fun. But all the leaderboards and stuff make me wanna git gud but then the miniturbos make that feel so tedious and slow.

I zoomed in the player so I can't see the twitter feed thing. I'm watching this on Nintendo's site, which is using Youtube. I don't want to see the feed cause mine usually lags and then I see spoilers there lol. And I can't fullscreen it cause then it lags even worse. Hooray rural internet lol.

LESS THAN A MINUTE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

gonna unmute it after this song.

huh it's like EDM stuff... they should play famous Nintendo tunes.

LESS THAN THIRTY SECONDS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i kinda miss seeing twitch chat or whatever to get excited but i don't wanna get spoiled worse

5
4
3
2

1

RATED M?!?!?!?!

cute intro

haha action figures this looks like robot chicken. NO NEW MARIO GAME??!?!

NO

im mad

oh well

hahha this is pretty good really cute

NOT MY PROBLEM

OH MAN

HERE WE GO

HERE WE GOOO

whats this GONNA BE

O SHIT TAKE THAT REGGIE

DAMN



PLEASE UNDERSTAND BEAM

haha this is so well done

nintendo is so fun my favorite

ohhh Miis

yeah okay, that makes sense
 i wonder how you can customize them?

haaaaaaaah? ohh, it's the NFC thing. MARIOoooooooo

haha you can summon them right in the middle of a fight?

ahh, sakurai, my controversial buddy. Mii Fighter, yeah, that makes sense.
sword mii, punching mii, samus mii, other miis, neat, i think i like this. i can make my creepy madotsuki mii knife people. WOAH

CHOOSING MOVES?

UHH

HMM

DUNNO ABOUT THAT

lincoln lol

elijah wood, ice-t

how were these chosen

ridiculous

but yeah the choosing moves things... seems excessive for tournaments and stuff. you sit down and you gotta choose all your moves and stuff, i dunno.

WOAH

OKAY

SINGLE


HRC

YES I LOVE HRC

it had the walls around the thing though :(

BOMB HRC?????????

SOME SORT OF PUZZLE THING

WHAT

WHAT WAS THE  TOP DOWN THING LOL

these are all so insane

hahah this looks sick

i am so excited now

where is my 3ds/

o china lmao whoops

HEY WHERE WAS BREAK THE TARGETS??

NFC things? hows it work????????

AMIIBO

i wanna CATCH EM ALL

looks fun looks cute

man i'm still thinking about that mother 3 reference lol

if they put on wii u virtual console i'm gonna flip the eff out

okay but yeah this nfc thing is pretty slick, looks like fun. HOLY SHIT MARIO JUST RAN SO FAST. dk just did a new dair, it looked good.

MARIO KART AMIIBO??? YESSSSSS haha the luigi death stare thing. nintendo knows.

nintendo has so much content, so many conferences and stuff. i gotta mow the lawn today. :(

SUPER MARIO WORLD i love that game

for me it was SUPER MARIO BROS ORIGINAL i played that a lot

what's it like to make some games???? hard and tiring >D<

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS man what an old joke

oh yarn YARN YOSHI

YARNSHI HERE WE GO

i know that green colour

IT LOOKS SO CUTE

Yoshi's Woolly World

IT LOOKS SO CUTE

IT LOOKS SO CUTE

I WANT TO CRY IT LOOKS TOO CUTE

THIS LOOKS PRETTY FUN

CLOUD BIRD EGGS

mario is about time, yoshi is about exploration. yes, they understand.

SO CUTE THOUGH

yoshi's HAHA THE HELICOPTER THING

yeah these guys understand yoshi. yoshi is a god. you can't kill yoshi. you just have fun exploring with yoshi.

TWO PLAYERS

TWO YOSHIS

WOW

MULTIPLAYER YOSHI GAME

I FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY

THIS MAKES ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY

HE LOOKS SO CUTE

haha they made their own yoshis

i want yarn yoshi skin in project m

HAHA WHEN HE RUNS FAST HIS LEGS TURN INTO A SCOOTER THING

GOAT

haha captain toad! my BOY

i haven't played a whole lot of sm3dw but i likes his missions. haha the pickaxe hammer

HAHA SO CUTE. VEGETABLES. MINECARTS. PERSPECTIVES.

CAPTAIN TOAD TREASURE TRACKER U GET 2 RIDE THE DRAGON 2 IF U WANT

lol more robot chicken things lol 80+ times.

ZELDA

ZELDA

HERE WE GO

OH MAN

HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

ZELDA

ZELDA

all about the wide world of discovery

trying to make it vast

wind waker felt vast yeah but yeah i see the islands

it was chunked

HERE WE GO

UUUHYXUIYEHFv

IT'S SO BIG

HSUEigwkyge


IT"S SO BIG


GO EVERYWHERE

like a stupid WRPG

but ZELDA

not stupid wandering around

BUT ZELDAING AROUND

DUNGEONS IN ANY ORDER

KINDA LIKE ALBW

JUST GO PLACES AND DO STUFF

SOLVE PUZZLES AND DO DUNGEONS

JUST GO WHERE YOU WANT TO: ZELDA

english briefly?? lol okay

oh no an enemy!! LASERS ETC


OH IT'S LINK HE HAS A PONYTAIL

WHY

WHAT

THE

WHAT

EXCUSE ME

WHAT WAS THAT

now live action

grapjics 23 real 478 me

take that piss4 and exbone

I SAW A POKEBALL

POKEMON

ORAS ORAS ORAS

LATIOS

BAN BAN BAN LATIOS BAN LATIOS

YUP THAT'S POKEMON

LOOKS GOOD

PLS SHOW TRAINER CUSTOMIZATION

MEGA SWAMPERT IS SO BARA

ANCIENT LEGENDARIES

lol poor little mac

oh bayonetta i don't care so much about that. looks fun maybe but i really don't like her character design lol.

this looks cool though wow crazy

looks fun

lots of gameplay shown. that's good.

WHAT

LMAO

COSPLAY


2fanny

good fannies nintendy

hyrule warriors, okay sure, these sorts of games are pretty fun. i want to play the one piece game that's like this. MIDNA!! i love midna!!

go help impa

puzzle bosses

okay cool

ZELDA LOOKS COOL

impa's so badass

MIDNA HELL YEAH. so moe...

i wanna play as umm malon lol, she's the cutestest.

midna rides a wolf but it isn't link lol ntr. maybe it's like a wolf made of magic.

make me really happy if everyone has fun playing. sweet.

CLAY?

YES

YUEEEEEEEEESHUEHI

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CANVAS CURSE IS BACK

I LOVE THAT GAME

THAT GAME WAS SO SICK OMG

IT WAS SO GOOD

i used to compete in high scores etc

one time i messed up a bit and i got so mad i snapped my stylus

TANK

LMAO

SWEET

RAINBOW CURSE

GIVE ME IT NOW

I NEED A WII U

what is this

B B STORING UNIT

is this "X" or whatever?

LOOKS CRAZY

THIS SHIT LOOK CRAZY UOENO

what is the gameplay tho lol it's an rpg right? i guess that's hard to show off lol.

i didn't play the other one.

what's this

MARIO BALLET

WHAT ABOUT STAR FOX?

well time showed me that

OH COOL

MARIO MAKER

this got leaked too looks FUN

the graphics are so slick

WWAAAAAAAA YOU CAN PUT IT IN FUTURE GRAPHICS TOO


THIS LOOKS FUN AS SHIT

GOOD JOB NINETNDO

haha 2 fun

poor mario walk into wall :(

whats this

paint thing

BLOOPER

no uh

NEW CHARACTER??

KYOTO AQUARIUM SICK I LOVE AQUARIUMS

SPLATOON

NEW IP

FOR RELA

UESgXSyhds

8 player 4 on 4 online game

OKAY

THIS LOOKS FUN

THIS LOOKS PRETTY FUN MAN

THE CHARACTERS LOOK CUTE

THE CONCEPT LOOKS FUN

I WANNA GET GOOD AT THIS ALREADY LOOL

cool

good job nintendo

looks fun

you figured out the idea of unique online experiences you're looking for those now

INTERESTING, you can warp to your teammates HMM

i have faith that all this stuff will work and not be broken lol

seems like it'd be fun

THIS IS SUCH A VIDEO GAME

YOU SEE THIS? YOU SEE THIS VIDEO GAME?

this actually makes me want to play a shooting game again

wtf how

it looks so fun

so much of a video game

there is strategy and reflex and mechanical skill

you can move quicker if you get good at things
haha paint roller powerup, paintzooka, paint grenades

wow she just called down like a big ink blast from the sky

i like that the main one was the girl

okay i guess that's it? where's star fox??

OKAY i guess i gotta go mow the lawn :(

if i get that done ASAP then i can spend the rest of the day just looking at nintendo stuff

NINTENDO
WINS
NINTENDO
WINS
NINTENDO
WINS

SEE YOU AT BEST BUY

MIYAMOTO

still some surprises left like, star fox exists via Time but they didn't show it

oh wait ONE MORE TEASER

SMASH

PAULENTA

ANIME

CONFIRMED

ALL LEAKS CONFIRMED

U CAN MAIN ANOTHER WAIFU

IF SHE IS UR WAIFU U CAN MAIN HER

ANIME FIGHTING

that's not how the game works lmao

LINK CAN'T KICK ON THE GROUND... ONLY IN HIS FTHROW

show some gameplay pls

OKAY HERE WE GO

WARPS

MAGIC BLASTS

FLYING

BEAMS

WINGS

OKAY SHE LOOKS FUN AS FUCK

SHE JUST RAN PAST SONIC HOW

SWEET OKAY COOL TYBG

DARK PIT, is he a character too? or just a

OH NO

STAR FOX

MIYAMOTO DESS

I LOVE YOU

YOU ARE MY FAVORITE

TANOSHII DESU NE?

YES VERY TANOSHII

FIND OUT MORE: STAR FOX

okay i guess that's it

im gonna go mow the lawn