And when it's over, I press rewind though
Alright I'm gonna be totally real with you here: until a few hours ago, I had basically no idea who Fetty Wap was. I was like... aware of his existence. I knew he was a trap rapper. I think I prolly listened to "Trap Queen" or something. I listen to a lot of this sort of music and spend a lot of time following it and such but sometimes artists slip past me and that's OK. What I definitely didn't realize is that like... "Trap Queen" has almost 300 million views. It wasn't just a trap rapper that slipped past me, it was like... the most popular trap rapper in history. Huh? How did that happen?
It feels like this fell out of some alternate dimension that's almost the exact same as ours. This track has features from P-Dice and Montana Bucks, I have heard of neither of those people ever. They are called "Remy Boyz", based off of drinking a lot of this good shit here. They drop "1738" like their "1017" except there's no calendar day they can celebrate, which sorta sucks for them. Also: Fetty Wap literally has one eye and is named after slang for money that I've never heard. The "Wap", though, is apparently a tribute to Gucci Mane, which sort of grounds this in reality, but maybe Gucci just transcends dimensions. Drake hopped on a remix of one of his lead songs, which, alongside his heavily singing-based flow, sorta makes him some alien version of Makonnen, who was pretty alien in his own right? All of this almost makes sense, but then you consider that this doesn't just exist, but is a crossover global phenomenon of top tier popularity, and then it doesn't.
Okay but the great thing is that it doesn't have to make sense, it just has to bang hard and this does so I love it. The beat has that awesome "vaccuum" quality that I fetishize for no good reason... do you know what I mean? The sort of "empty" sound of the beat kinda "pulling away" from you? That plus "hey!" on the off beat and some nice and snappy drums is basically 100 a-okay. Fetty's verse sounds like something I hadn't heard in a long time, can't really think of what it was though. False memories from the alien dimension. The line "I traded in my Trues for some Robins" also seems to imply some sort of economic reality where this can actually have meaning for the average listener. Like compare that to Takeoff's legendary "I used to smoke Swishers, like a regular nigga/Now I'm a Backwoods type of nigga" which even I have experienced, whereas I'll be happy if I can ever even afford something on the True Religion tier of denim. Montana Bucks raps like he doesn't care anymore because he's too rich and successful despite the fact that I've never heard of him. P-Dice goes pretty hard in with a cool two-line sorta flow. He says: "She's a Remy Girl so I'm goin' pursue her/I brought a loud of loud, lot of Remy to sip on", and it feels really adorable, like when you see a bunch of little kids make inside jokes or something?
Okay maybe I actually care about it not making sense lol. I think this is maybe the closest thing to the Mandela Effect that I've experienced, besides finding out on that page that Charles Schulz is not Charles Schultz. Neither feeling is stronger than the powerful empathetic uncanny feeling I get when I read posts like this or this but that's a whole other thing. So I guess maybe I woke up in an alternate timestream where a one-eyed trap rapper from New Jersey is one of today's most popular artists and if so I'm pretty happy because it's basically everything I could have wanted it to be and now I'm looking forward to his debut album and want to sing along to all his hooks and all of that good stuff.